I love it when a song can inspire me to write. The song playing in the background is Joss Stone's "Girlfriend on Demand". This is a fictional "Dear John" letter, but was composed with some of my own experiences in mind. Enjoy Dear John,
By the time you read this I'll be long gone, on my way from here. I'm glad my friend gave you this letter for me, I know you was confused to see him at my apartment instead of me. Anyways, I never thought I would ever write a letter such as this, but in order to get what I need to say out. It’s best for the both of us that I write it out. It’s been two years since we’ve been together and in those two years we had our ups and we had our downs. I remember when I first saw you across the street. After we exchanged glances I couldn’t believe how bold you were when you struck up a conversation with me and later ask me for my number. Do you remember how we would stay up all night, just talking about anything. I cherish those nights when we were on the phone and you felled asleep in the middle of our conversation LOL. Did you know that I’ve once laid in the bed and listened to sound of you breathing before I hung up? In that moment I’ve realized I was starting to fall in love with you. I remember when I accidentally let those three little words slip one night and you look at me, smile and gave me the biggest, most passionate kiss and told me you love me as well. At first things were cool. You would come over on some nights and we would watch movies, talk and kiss; then some how we would end up in my bed, making love till the sun came up. It wasn’t the sex that made me happy, I was happy just being in your arms, just being in love and finally having it reciprocated. Then something changed. Our phone calls became text messages and when I would call you never picked up. You would just text me back some excuse of how you couldn’t talk to me follow by the words “I luv U”. Your time with me became short and brief and when I would get emotional about somethings that was going in my life, you would get angry and tell me to just man up. I thought I could come to you for support but I guess I was wrong. Our love making became meaningless sex where I felt you were out to pleasure yourself instead of making it enjoyable for me as well. Was I was just a late night sex buddy to you? It didn’t even occurred to me that you hardly ever took me out, and if we did go out it was places where people would never be able to recognize you. I just couldn’t understand why. And when I confronted you about it; you would say that you're a private person and then follow up with some sweet gesture that would reassure me that I was something more and I just accepted it, couldn’t even stay mad at you for long. What can I say, I was in love with you and I just knew without a doubt you felt the same way. Even when those three little words disappeared from your vocabulary. I just thought, “its all in his actions”. But soon your actions didn’t measured up either. To your family and friends I was “just a friend” and you even introduce me as your cousin to your “ex-girlfriend” once, when we saw her in the store. Did you know how much that hurt, and how embarrassing It was for me to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. I doubt that you did. Yet, still I stuck around, hoping and praying that you would be the man I knew you could be. I should have known that when a man can’t speak of his love for you, then it means the love he has for you isn't in his heart anymore. It wasn’t until I saw you holding hands with a young lady in a restaurant when I was out with one of friends and a little boy by your side who looks a lot like you. At first I thought maybe it was just a family member or a really good friend, but then the little boy said, "kiss mommy, daddy" and you leaned over and gave her the passionate kiss I once felt. And in that moment all of my questions were answered. So here I am writing you this letter, my goodbye. I should be angry at you, don’t get me wrong I did a lot of thinking and crying over about what I should do, Wondering if I should confront you or not. When you texted me today asking if we can meet up just after a couple of days I saw you with her. I was even considering to be “that guy on the side” because of this slither of love I still have for you, but you know as well as I do, there is no fun in being in love all by yourself. Besides your son and girlfriend needs you more than I do and it's obvious you need them too.
Signed. . .
Your Once Boyfriend on Demand
Lyric
