“Did you ever get the feeling that you’ve somehow lost yourself along the way in this lifestyle?” Whether you’ve felt this way or not, there’s going to come a time when you have to ask yourself the age old question, “Who Am I?” “Am I Black?” or “Am I African American?”, “Am I Bi?” or “Am I Gay?”, “Am I Masculine?” or “Am I In-between?” “Am I Top or Bottom” or maybe your neither of those things and your just simply you. Any ways your time will come but for now just hear me out.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Jacob S. Peterson Jr. I am 27 years old and I am currently in a law program at UNC at Charlotte in North Carolina. I am enjoying and hating every bit of it lol. I also work at Davis & McCoy Law Firm here in Charlotte as a paralegal under Mr. Anthony R. Davis. I have a good life, a man who has my heart, and a wonderful job. What more can I ask for? Even though life seems good, I have this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach that my good life is going to change for the worst. I just didn’t that it would all start with a phone call.
(Ring, Ring)
The house phone rang.
“Who the fuck is calling at 3 am”, I thought to myself as I looked sleepily at the clock.
(Ring, Ring)
I scrambled out of bed to pick up the phone.
“Hello”
“Jacob!” said my mom breathing hard and crying
“What’s wrong mom?” I said in a scared concern tone.
“It’s Mama Mattie”
“What about grandma?” I said as my fear increased
“They rushed . . .
Her to the hospital . . .
. . . It doesn’t look to good Jacob” said my mom trying to keep from
crying.
“Calm down Mom, okay. I said in a calming voice
Where are they taking her?” I said.
“To Presbyterian hospital on Hawthorne Lane”
“Okay, I will be right there!”
“Alright baby, and please hurry!” said my mom fearing the worst.
I hung up the phone up, and threw on some sweats, a wife beater, some
sneakers and a jacket. As I grabbed the keys to my car I noticed that Rich wasn’t home. I paused for a moment . . . but quickly pushed the thought of Rich whereabouts out of my head. I had to get to the hospital and see what is up with Grandma Mattie.
On the way to the hospital my mind flashed between Grandma Mattie and Rich. “Where the hell he could be?” I thought as I pulled out my cell phone to call him. I can hear Grandma Mattie’s voice now as I search for Rich’s number.
“Baby, that tech stuff is no good; when was the last time you dial a number? I swear for God, people just don’t know how to communicate anymore”. I thought smiling to myself as Rich’s phone rang.
(Ring, Ring . . .Yo, you’ve reached Rich leave a message after the beep)
“Yo, what the fuck is really good man, sending me to voice mail and all. Its 4:30am where the hell you at!! Give me call when get this. I’m on my way to the hospital to see about my Grandma”.
A couple mins later I’ve arrived at the hospital. I parked in the parking lot of the ER and ran to the front desk.
“Excuse me miss, I’m looking for Ms. Mattie C. Peterson’s Room” I said not sure what to think about my grandmother’s health.
“Yes sir she is located in room 306” said the young petite nurse.
“Thank you”
I rushed down the hall, down to the nearest elevator. When I got to the third floor, I saw my mother, father, and sister, all standing in the hall sobbing.
“Was I too late?”
River Rise: Carry Me Back Home
Untitled 3
When He Loves Another, and Doesn't See You
I'm sure most of you have been attracted, and had develop some type of feelings for a man that loves another. Me & this dude met a while back, and it was nice speaking to someone who has the same taste of music as me, and it is very rare that I would connect with someone on a mental level. Everything was going fine until he told me that his ex had contacted him via a text message. He reveal to me that he was still in love with his ex. I must admit I was a little taken aback when he told me this. In my mind I wondered how can I compete with a person who clearly has his heart. Should I stay, Should I go? These thoughts ran through my head.
Sexual Frustrations Series: ATop'sDesire
It was about 3 a.m. in the morning and my dick was on rock. I don’t know what is about the early morning but I am always horny at this time. I decided to log on BGC and check my messages. Soon as I log in I hear that dam *Bing* sound. “I really need to turn that shit off”, I thought to myself. I look over my messages and it’s the usual fucking one worded messages. I really can’t stand that shit. I mean if all you got to say is “sup” then don’t say shit at all. My dick started throbbing with pain as I began to browse profiles of dudes with half naked pictures up. I needed some ass and I need some now. I was about to log off and jack my dick to some X-tube videos when I heard that dam *Bing* sound again. I clicked the ‘messages’ button and saw the screen name “AtopsDesire”. Dam, this made my dick jump up in excitement and that sexy ass pic he had up wasn’t helping either.
The message read:
Hey, what up bruh? I read ur profile n saw dat u hated 1 worded messages so I decided 2 write a lil more. LOL Im jus goin 2 be str8 up with you. I’m horny as fuc N I need sum dick. Hit me bac if ur down.
Dam, shawty was straight to the point. Which I had to give him props on. Well, before I reply back to anyone I always check out the stats first. According to his profile he was about 5’6”, 145lbs very tone but not to muscular. I went to read his profile just to make sure there weren’t any red flags like hostility, or desperation. Some niggaz like to bash other niggas, talking about “niggaz aint shit”, or “dis profile will be deleted in a couple of days”. Knowing good and well those couple of days were months ago.
I went to view his pictures which he had unlocked for a bruh. Shawty was on point. He had a cute face with sum big ass lips. The pics of his body were nice, but that ass was phat as hell. “How can such a small guy have an azz like that?” I thought to myself. My dick was throbbing and I had to reply back to this nigga. He instantly hit me back with directions to his crib, which I thought was a lil suspect. I could have been some killa or something and here was this lil dude giving out his information like that. Shawty told me to hit him up on his cell when I was on my way.
Shit it was about 4 a.m. now and my shit was still on rock and I couldn’t think straight; I was down for a quick fuc. I got cleaned up, got the lube, grab a couple golden tickets and head over to Shawty’s place. While I was in the car, I gave Shawty a called and as soon as I heard his voice it had my shit at attention. I told him that I was on my way and for him to get ready and shit. I told Shawty that I don’t mess with a dirty azz and he was like coo and told me to be ready for the best experience of my life. I hung up the phone thinking about my shit digging up in the tight hole of his and watching him ride my shit.
I was pulling up into the drive way when I saw Shawty opening the door. The pics didn’t do him justice. He was fine as hell. We gave each up dap and he lead me to his bedroom. When I open the door there were two other guys there just as fine as Shawty was. My dick stood at attention at the sight of the two other guys lying in the bed butt ass naked and fingering themselves. “Dam was I in a dream or what,” I thought to myself as Shawty pulled me towards the bed.
All three of them began undressing me, pulling my shirt off revealing my tight abs, pulling my timbs and socks off, unbuckling my pants and pulling them shits down and eventually pulling my boxers off letting my monster dick free from its cage. Shawty got undress and asked me if I like to eat ass. I told him fuck yeah. So he got up and lowered his ass on my face, while the other two suck my dick. My tongue swirled around his tight hole and as I slowly began to penetrate him with my tongue; I could feel my dick being shared between the two other guys. As one guy sucked my dick, the other guy was servicing my balls and vice versa. Shawty was on my face and moaning as my tongue went in and out of his ass. I told Shawty to go ahead and get some dick. So he bends down and takes all of me inside his mouth. Dam I couldn’t even concentrate on his ass any more. That shit was hot, Shawty deep throatin my shit as the other two had one of my balls in their mouths. Shit was feeling good. I told Shawty to get up so I can get a better look at the three of them sucking my shit. It was a beautiful sight having my dick being devoured by three hungry bottoms. I love the way Shawty sucked my dick nice and slow, then fast and hard in the other dude’s mouth and then wet and sloppy with a whole lot of tongue action in the third dude’s mouth. Shit, I was beginning to feel my nut coming so I stop them so I can show them my skills.
Shawty was first to get the dick, I slid the condom on my dick, and lubed his ass up and slowly slid my 10in dick in him missionary style. I told Shawty to eat his friend’s ass and get that shit wet. The third one got between my legs and started sucking my balls as I dug up in Shawty. Once I got my rhythm going, I pounded Shawty like there was no tomorrow. I love the way his ass felt on my dick and the way he squeezes my shit was pure bliss. Dude underneath me had my balls dripping wet when I pounded the shit out of Shawty. A few more pumps and I was ready for the next dude.
I took off the condom off and put a fresh one. Good thing I brought a few golden tickets with me. I told dude that was getting his ass ate by Shawty to ride my shit. I lay back on the bed and felt dude slide down on my shit. Dam, his ass was even tighter than Shawty’s. He rode me like a cow boy, sliding up and down on my shit. Shawty and the other dude were servicing my balls nicely. Shit felt so good hearing dude moan on my dick and the sounds of my balls being sucked at the same time. I began thrusting my dick up into dude’s ass hitting that spot. He began moaning even louder and as I hit that spot for the last time he nutted a phat load all over my chest. He shot everywhere; shit almost hit me in the face.
I told the third dude to get on all fours, as I took the second condom off and put another one on. I was going to hit that shit doggy style. He told me he didn’t like that position and I told him that he hadn’t had had me hit that shit yet. I told Shawty to suck his dick and I told other dude who had just nutted to get between my legs and suck my balls. As I slid my shit up into dude doggy style he tries to resist me by pushing me out and arching his back like a cat. I told him to relax and take my shit. Once I started hitting that spot and relaxed he started to throw that shit back on me. My dick getting fucked my some ass and my balls being serviced was a great feeling. I told dude who was throwing that shit back to get that nut. He started to throw that shit back faster and harder and before you knew it he busted a nut in Shawty’s mouth. I told Shawty to keep sucking that shit till he gets every last drop.
It was Shawty’s turn again, I told Shawty to get ready for me as I took the third condom off and put on a fourth. I got Shawty and the missionary position again because I loved the way he looked when I fuck his shit. In I went while one dude suck on Shawty’s dick and the other began kissing Shawty. “Dam that was hot as hell” I thought to myself. I began digging deeper into Shawty’s ass as the other dude started to deep throat Shawty’s dick. I pounded Shawty’s ass harder and harder. He began to moan louder and louder as he felt his nut coming. I quicken my pace to the rhythm of dude’s sucking motion and in an instant Shawty busted a phat nut down his friend’s throat.
I pulled out and started to jack my shit. All three of them got underneath my dick with their mouths wide open in anticipation of my nut. I stroke my dick harder and faster till I felt my nut coming. I looked them each in the eye and told them here it comes. My nut shot all over the place each of them getting a taste of me. I shot nut after nut and gave Shawty the last drop. . . .
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . the alarm clock flash 7:00a.m. When I got up my boxer was drench in my nut. Dam, I should have known that shit like that happens only in the porno or in your dreams. Fuck, back to reality.
"Untitled 2"
Our moment together,
Forever in my mind,
Not a day goes by,
When I don't think of you,
When I didn't dream of you.
Slowly the pain,
Drips from the confines,
Of my dreams down to,
the chambers of my heart,
And manifests,
its self,
as warm tears that,
I leave on my pillow.
A symbol of a heart breaking,
A sign of a soul dying.
Our love dies,
(The pain)
Of saying
(The sorrow)
Goodbye.
"Untiitled 1"
The two of us in the bed,
Listening to the words left unsaid,
Enjoying each other on another rainy day.
Holding you in my arms,
Loving you is charmed.
It's raining . . .
Looking you in the eyes,
Thanking God your mine.
It's raining . . .
Making love to you,
It's raining . . .
Tasting you ,
It's raining . . .
We're Climaxing,
It's raining . . .
I'm out of breath,
It's raining . . .
"I Love You"
Listening to the words left unsaid,
The two of us int the bed,
Enjoying each other on another rainy day.
Holding you in my arms,
Loving you is charmed.
It's raining . . .
Eventually Everything Comes to the Light Pt. 3
The Characters
Donavon – Main Character
Jersey – Donavon’s boyfriend
B (Real Name – Brian) – Jersey’s Paramour
Five Months & Some Feelings
“Dam”, was what I thought when I looked over at the clock. B was sleeping peacefully in the bed after our little fuck session. “Fuck, that boy knew how to put it on a nigga”, “The way he moved his ass up on down on my shit”, I thought to myself smiling at the memory. It’s been five months since me and B been fucking on the side. I was still involve with Donavon. It was tough between us at first and after two months of arguing and shit, he finally let up after I told him there was nothing even going on between us. Guess he got tired of fighting with me. I told B that we needed to cool it for awhile while I tie up the loose ends to make Donavon feel secure. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fuck out of Donavon. He’s been there when I didn’t have shit. He help me through a rough patch in my life when know seem to care. I really do love him but lately it seems as though that spark we once had isn’t there anymore, but to find a dude that can love me like Donavon can, is dam there near next to impossible. You know how these gays are out here, seems like all they think about is getting the dick and once they got what they want. Mother fuckers bounce right on the next dick. Now I'm not knocking a hoeish nigga, when a nigga needs to get his dick wet, these hoes out here are just what I need to get the job done. But like the old saying goes, “You can’t turn a hoe, into a housewife especially no nigga”.
I glance over at B, “Dam, he look so fucking good and his boxer briefs. B was the type of dude that was a man in the streets and at home, but as soon as I got his ass in the sheets, he became the bitch I needed. We didn’t argue like Donavon and I did and if we did it wasn't over some pussy shit. He was like one of the homeboys that I smash once in awhile. I smile to myself as I gazed at B. . . . there was something different about this nigga. I mean it was all about the fucking at first, but now I think I was actually starting to develop feelings for him. “What are you thinking about Jersey?” B said lifting his head up from the pillow. “Nothing baby”. “Just thinking about how sexy you look when you sleep”. “Awww, well aren’t you fucking sweet” B said in a tired voice. “Isn’t it almost time for you to head back to your fucking Donavon”, “Yeah, it is” Jersey said in dull tone. It was almost five in the morning. I told Donavon that I had to work late and will not be coming home till early in the morning. He protest a little, but as soon as I laid this good dick on his ass, he had no objections. I notice B was staring at my boxers when I felt my dick jump at the thought of fucking. “Seems like someone is ready for another round”, “Nah, I’m good man, I really need to be heading home” I said as I grab my pants off the floor. Before I knew it B was in front of me, grabbing my shit. “Fuck, B I really got to go” I said pushing him away. B didn’t said a word, instead he pulled my pants out of my hands and slid my boxers down to my knees. “let me just handle this before you go” and as the last word left his lips, he began licking the head of my dick. Tasting my pre-nut and before I could stop him he had me balls deep in his mouth. “I told you there was something about this nigga, besides I still have time to spare”, I thought as I laid back on the bed.
Friday Morning . . . Poor Donavon
I awake in our sun lit room to find that Jersey hasn’t come home yet. Concern came across my face, but soon disappear when I thought back to our conversation yesterday. “Don’t wait up for me” said Jersey. Even though I knew he was working I still had this strange feeling that there was something more to the story than what he was telling me. “I shouldn’t be thinking like this” I thought to myself. Just then I heard the door slam down stairs. “Jersey is that you?” I yelled. “Who else could it be” he said in a aggravated tone. “Don’t be a smart ass Jersey”, “Look babe, I’m really tired from work; lets not start this morning” Jersey said as he walked into the bedroom. “Your right” I said getting up to give him a hug. Before I could even get close to him he pushes me away; talking about he needed to shower. “Alright” I said, “Do you want some breakfast”. “Nah, I’m good, I think I’m just going to go ahead and hit the bed and rest up for tonight. “You have to work again tonight?” I said. “Of course, and it looks like I’m going be coming home late again” he said with a smile, trying to keep the peace between us. “Okay”, I said in disappointed tone. “Thanks babe, I knew you will understand”. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you” he said grabbing his dick. I wasn’t that impress. It seem lately that sex was Jersey’s answer to everything. Sex with Jersey was hell of good, but it was the little things he used to do which turned me on. I remember how we would talk all night, play video games together, and how he used to say “I Love You” every chance he got. But as I gaze upon this man. I don’t even know who he is anymore. A stranger who is living in my house. “Donavon? Donavon?” he yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts. “I knew the dick was good, but dam babe”, “Got you daydreaming and shit” Jersey said smiling that smile I use to know before heading off to the bathroom. All I could do was just sigh.
Friends for Life?
B’s old college roommate has come back into town from California and they both decided to meet up at a restaurant to catch up on old times.
“What up Trent?” “Haven’t seen you in awhile?” B said getting up from the table giving Trent a enthusiastic hug. Trent was about 6’4 weighing about 236lbs and had muscles for days. Trent was a gym rat in college and by the looks of his body, he still was. Trent, not only had looks, he was also a gentleman through and through. At first glance you wouldn’t even think that Trent was gay. Trent and I were excellent at hiding that side of ourselves from each other in college. Both of us didn’t even have a clue; until one day, I was on a black gay social networking site and he hit me up. Well I didn’t know who he was at the time because we both didn’t have pictures posted. We were afraid that some dude might recognize us. We were so nervous about dudes finding us out that we even use fake names to give us more cover. What can I say, when it came to being discreet we had it down pack. Anyways, Trent or should I say (David) and I decided to meet up at a restaurant the following day, we’ve exchange phone numbers and he told me to call him when I get there. Me being the impatient one, decided that I want to at least hear his voice before I go off and meet a dude who turns out to be the opposite of what I was expecting. Now mind you, when I decided to call we were both in our dorm room. So I dial the number and Trent’s phone rung. I didn’t even think nothing of it. I actually thought it was an odd coincidence. Trent pick up the phone and when I heard his voice on my end. We both look at each other in shock. After an awkward moment of silence, Trent just started to laugh to break the tension. We had a long talk and came to the conclusion that it was best not to hook up because Trent felt a little weird about us being friends and he didn’t want to ruin that. Which is understandable, but I wouldn’t had mind getting a piece of Trent. Since the move we didn't talk that much, but we always made an effort to keep in contact with one another and I'm glad we did, still buddies for life . . .at least for now.
“So hows California been treating you and how long you will be staying?” I said. “Well California has been treating me good, but my job decided to transfer me back to work with the Atlanta branch”. “So does that mean . . .” “Yes, I will be here in good ol' Atlanta, Georgia until further notice” said Trent with a excited smile.
“Ahh man thats great, were going to have to celebrate, how about we go to our old hangout spot?”
“Man, I thought Club X closed down a long time ago”.
“Nah, man its still going strong and it's still the hottest spot to pick up the finest niggas in the ATL; in fact I met someone there”, I said.
“Oh, really. So B finally met someone. That’s great man I thought you will never stick with one dude considering what had happen in college”. Trent said in a concern tone.
“Ah man, why you gotta bring shit up from the past and besides it’s not even like that, but I think there is a possibility”
“Well who ever it is, seems like a great guy, but make sure you know who your dealing with; The last guy you messed with nearly had you put in the hospital”. said Trent deepen his concern tone.
“Don’t worry man, I’m the one in control this time”
“Alright, alright, I’ll trust in your judgement” said Trent.
“Yeah, man, anyway enough about me are we still on for tonight?” said B
“Yeah, I need to get out anyway”, said Trent.
“Yeah you do maybe you’ll meet someone out here”
“It’s funny you should said that man. There is someone out here whom I’m looking forward to getting re-aquatinted with”, said Trent with a smile on his face.
“Oh yeah, thats right you did use to go with Donavon” said B with a sly smile.
To be Continue . . .
