" 'You know I love you . . . that I believe in you. You know what's in my heart. I'm sorry I was hiding. I was hurting. I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm not going to let the people who claim they represent you take away my faith. I won't let them do that. They can't have my faith. But can't there be joy in faith, joy in love. I know you love me. I know that one day I'll have love right here,' Sean said as he punched his fist toward his heart. 'I love you, Lord, and I know you love me. If I have to be alone here on earth, then please don't let me be lonely. Show me the way and I will follow. I won't hide anymore. And when it hurts, I'll know that you're there, ready to soothe me, when soothing is what I need. Thank you, Lord and tell everybody, hey. All my friends. Tell Zach hi and for him to give Zurich a clue. Okay . . . I love you. I believe in you and I will talk to you again real soon. Peace out, God!'"
"Tears began to roll down Sean's face, and the cool wind dried them. Talking to God made Sean feel strong, sure of himself. He took a deep breath of the cool air, and suddenly, he knew who he was and what he wanted. He felt cleansed by his talk and wind seemed to vitalize him with a surge of hope. He had the feeling of satisfaction that came from making a positive step in life, a big step. Sean blew a kiss toward the sky and moon and went back to his apartment and slept."
Source: "And This Too Shall Pass" (pg. 335-336)
When I had heard of E. Lynn Harris' death, I didn't even know what to think. I was doing my usually "boredashell" web surfing and I caught a glimpse of a news headline that said E. Lynn Harris had died. When I found the website, I thought, "What in the world is going on". It seems like all the good ones are being taken away from us and too soon at that. Then I thought back to my favorite E. Lynn Harris' book "And This Too Shall Pass". I remember reading this book when I was living in Houston, Texas a couple of years ago. I was working as an intern then for an HBCU. Anyways I was in the medical Library and as I was reading the passage above. I couldn't help but shed some tears. Books made me laugh, made me angry but I have never read a book that made me cry nor made me feel that my sexuality wasn't something ugly but a treasure to be cherished. Like I said in a comment on a fellow blogger's blog. "For me he (E. Lynn Harris) bridged the gap between me, being gay and my relationship with the Lord". I'm going to miss you E. Lynn Harris. And I thank you for breathing life into a sexuality that seem to be looked upon as something dirty and transforming it into something beautiful.
Just As I Am: E. Lynn Harris
Jaspects: "Making Music Mean Something to the World at-Large"
These days it seems that the music that is out today seems to be losing its meaning. Mainstream music has become nothing but hot beats and catchy phrases to go a long with it. My friend and I were talking about this and he gave me a link to Al Sharpton talking about how music should be up-lifting and that....well I let you view the link lol. But I digress...
Without further ado, I would like to present...
Jaspects...A group that has something to say to an up-lifting beat.
I first heard of Jaspects while I was in college and felled in love with them when I first heard "My First Love feat. Janelle Monae" (I'm sure most of you have heard of her) Unlike Ms. Janelle Monae very few people have ever heard of the group Jaspects. This group has successfully blended Jazz music with that of R&B, and Hip-hop. The vibe of this group is addicting. I find myself relaxing to their infectious beat (The music that is playing in the background is Fallin' by Jaspects from there new Album "The Polkadotted Stripe" which came out in April of this year. Another song that I happen to love from "The Polkadotted Stripe" album has to be "Find My Way to Love feat. Chantae Cann" (I love her voice on this track) which makes me feel some type of way.
Here is some background information I found that I think you may find interesting.
"Born during the hip-hop movement, Jaspects integrates their youthful skill to progress music and build a bridge between musical genres. Formally trained alumni of Morehouse College’s music department, Jaspects’ goal is to produce an exhaustive musical experience that involves TRUE freedom of expression via musical and lyrical creativity.
Jaspects’ latest album The Polkadotted Stripe embodies Jaspects’ thesis as it interrogates the idea of musical, social, and political freedom. The concept of the group’s fourth effort procures from the world of fashion. Delving deep into research, Jaspects learned that the fashion truth bastardizing the marriage of polka dots and stripes is man-made. Therefore, Jaspects’ The Polkadotted Stripe inquires: “What is truth?” Upon much discussion and studying, Jaspects recognized that in most instances reality is well, relative. With that in mind, The Polkadotted Stripe defined is someone or something that debunks the notion of social standards.
Jaspects works to rescue the concept of musicianship while breaking down the structural constraints of hip-hop. The band promotes the idea that the culture of hip-hop can support an entity that focuses on musical depth without ostracizing the mainstream fan of the genre. Jaspects uses music as a change agent in ways pioneers such as Public Enemy, Erykah Badu, and Marvin Gaye have. The message conveyed by Jaspects remains consistent, "make your music mean something to the world at-large."
The collective operates out of Atlanta and consists of T. Brown (Memphis, TN), Jon-Christopher Sowells (Dallas), drummer Henry “HC3” Conerway, III (Detroit), Dwayne “Spacey” Dugger (Queens, NY), Stagolee (Aniston, AL), and King James (Stamford, CT). In addition to PDS, Jaspects has released three other independent albums: In ‘House’ Sessions (2005), Broadcasting the Definition (2006), and Double Consciousness (2007).
Individually, Jaspects’ works have appeared in the 2005 major motion picture “Hustle & Flow,” on Chamillionaire’s platinum albums “Chamillitary” and “Sound of Revenge,” on Carlos Santana’s “All That I Am,” and with platinum recording artists David Banner, Wyclef Jean, Big Boi (“Kryptonite”), and Mary J. Blige (“Just Fine”). Collectively, Jaspects has shared bills with: Dwele, Bilal, Mike Phillips, Herbie Hancock, Eric Roberson, Stevie Wonder, Brian McKnight, and rap phoneme Drake. Jaspects has also collaborated with Grammy-nominated artists Janelle Monae, PJ Morton and Anthony David, in addition to Kedar Entertainment act Algebra, and Good Music’s Fonzworth Bentley."
Source: http://www.myspace.com/jaspects
Now before you go, I just have one more thing to show you ;0)
Ambiguous
Hard to explain,
Try to keep quiet.
Hard to comprehend,
Try not to understand it.
Assured yet doubtful,
Benevolent, yet cruel,
Simple yet convoluted,
Is this feeling I have for you…
Romans 8:28 & Psalms 73: For The Good of Them
"There have been plenty of times in college where I woke up in the middle of the night with a heavy heart. Feeling lost, confused and lonely and at the time all I had was GOD, myself and my music for encouragement. So this is a little story of mine, just me talking with God and telling a story. Enjoy..."
I’m sitting here writing this not only for me but to who ever is reading this, maybe someone will get encouragement out of this. Sometimes in the middle of the night I awake with a pain deep in my heart, it brings tears to my eyes as I ponder on why I am here? What is my purpose? It seems that I take two steps forward and I always being pushed not only three steps back but all the way to the starting line. My dreams aren’t being realized, love seems like it don’t even want to be bother with me. And sometimes GOD, I just feel like you have given up on me.
Why is it I’m the one helping others but when I need help no one is there for me, Why is it that I give love but when I need love no one is there for me! I give myself to others and when I need to rely on them I’m the one that gets left outside in the cold. I carry the problems of others, while ignoring my own. I try to be the best person you taught me to be. But it seems like the more I do good the worst my situation gets.....
Can’t you see my tears Lord!, can’t you hear me crying to you!, can’t you feel my pain? I’m trying Lord!, I am trying my best!
I...I...I thank you for the good times I had but I can’t even enjoy my good times because I’m worrying how long it will last because my good times are short lived. Will I ever be happy, will I ever smile again, will I ever stop crying and waking up with this heavy burden on my heart. I love you GOD but sometimes I just don’t know about your plans. Sometimes I wish you can just give me a glimpse of my wonderful future that I hear people telling me, you have for me. Just a glimpse, so that I can keep on going, keep moving forward, so that I can rest in knowing that all of these problems, friends walking out, family not being supportive, feelings of loneliness, knowing that I am not going through this storm in vain. I’m sorry to question you like this but sometimes it hurts so much that I have to to ask you GOD, “is this really necessary?”
And with a quickness, in the late hour, a voice that was soothing to my soul said to me, “Just be still, I’m working on it”.
And in a instant I felled right asleep and though my pillows were wet, I slept so peaceful. When the morning came that same soothing voice said to me before I could raise my head up, “All things work together for the Good of them”. "Since, you've questioned me, I just have one question for you". “Do you Love Me?”
Yes, was my answer...
I smiled a wonderful smile, joy came that morning. And though my situation is still the same, I now have a new perspective...
Because in the end I know that it will workout for (you say it it)!
Maybe Tomorrow: A Tribute to Michael Jackson (1958-2009)
This has truly been a sad day, now I am not the one to get teary eyed over a singer's death, but I'm not even going to lie. Being awoke out of my nap by my mother calling to tell me Michael had passed made me feel some type way, I must admit I didn't even think it was real at first. Until I saw CNN, FOX, and hearing it all on over the radio, I was just in utter shock as I know most of you were. It's reminds you that life can be taken away from anyone in a instant. Hearing Michael's - Stranger In Moscow, brought tears to my eyes and I just started reminiscing on the times I use to dance in front of that TV to Michael's videos, how I use to play "Thriller" countless times, closed my eyes as I listen to Maybe Tomorrow and gotten the chills off of Man in the Mirror. Michael Jackson you will always be dear to my heart and he will forever live on in his music.
Here are some of my favorite songs from Michael Jackson that made me smile, cry, and dance. He would want us to remember all the good things about him. Rest In Peace Michael Jackson you will be Missed.
Get Your Own Free Hypster.com Playlist.
Eventually Everything Comes to the Light Pt. 2
The Characters
Donavon – Main Character
Jersey – Donavon’s boyfriend
B (Real Name –Brian) – Jersey’s Paramour
The Argument:
As I walked through the kitchen, through the living room and back up the stairs, by anger grew. The thoughts of Jersey making love to another man were too much for me to bear. My tears came pouring out as I walked into our bedroom and told Jersey to get his ass up. “What’s up baby?” said Jersey with a confused look on his face. “Jersey, I have to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me, okay?” “Babe, can’t this wait, I got to get up in a few”. “No, this can’t wait!” yelled Donavon. “Babe, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Just then Donavon walks over towards the bed and picks up Jersey’s pants and pulls out Jersey's cell phone. “Who the fuck is B, Jersey?” said Donavon showing Jersey the text message. “Yo, what the fuck you doing reading my text messages?” said Jersey, sitting himself up in the bed. “Man, don’t try and turn this shit on me bruh, who the fuck is B?” “B is just a dude I met at the club.” “We dance and that was that!” said Jersey grabbing his cell phone out of Donavon’s hand. “See, this is what I’m talking about” “What you mean?” said Donavon. “I can’t stand when you get jealous; you act like a straight bitch.” “Getting upset over some text message” said Jersey in a nasty tone. “I’m not jealous…” “Fine okay I just think it’s suspicious that some dude you may have dance with or flirted with in the club is sending you a text message like this” “Did you even tell him you had a boyfriend?” said Donavon breathing kind of hard. “No, I didn’t”, said Jersey in a harsh tone. “Look babe nothing didn’t even happen, I don’t even no why you are tripping off of this”. “I feel as though you had been drifting away from me Jersey, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore”. “You work, go to the clubs and…” said Donavon being cut off by Jersey. “I don’t want hear this bitchiness okay!” “You’re a man so fucking act like it” said Jersey lying back down in the bed. “I’m going back to sleep, I don’t want to hear nothing more of this fucking drama, end of the fucking discussion!” said Jersey rolling over on his side.
So What the Fuck Really Had Happen at the Club?
Jersey and Donavon didn’t speak much that morning. An eerie feeling was being felt as the two walked passed each throughout the house. As Donavon wondered what Jersey could have been hiding, Jersey was relieved that he dodged a huge bullet early this morning.
See, this is what really had happen….
Jersey and his boys saw B dancing on dance floor at the club and Jersey decided to flirt a bit and dance with B in spite of his boys telling that isn’t a good idea, but Jersey went over any way. Jersey found B to not only be sexy and masculine but very intelligent. Qualities that Donavon obviously had but B had something else. He was spontaneous and sexually adventurous. Before he knew it, Jersey found him self turned on by the sexual moves B put on him on the dance floor. Donavon was more of a classy type of guy and would have never done some of the moves B was doing. This is the reason why Jersey never asked Donavon to the club, because the truth is, Donavon was no fun. As B rub his firm ass against Jersey’s now hard dick, Jersey knew in an instant that B had some type of move up his sleeve but what came next was unexpected.
As B grind even harder against Jersey’s dick, B turn to face Jersey and slid down Jersey’s body and started to unzip his pants and pulled Jersey’s dick out. Before Jersey could have stopped him, Jersey’s 9in dick was down B’s throat right on the dance floor. Jersey couldn’t resist the warmth of B’s mouth as B slurp and sucked his dick with a passion. Jersey looked up and closed his eyes and started to moan. Dudes in the club surrounded them and watch as B gave Jersey the best head he ever had. With the added quality of being watch and B’s warm mouth, Jersey felt his orgasm, he tried to pull out of B’s mouth but B wouldn’t let go of his dick. In a couple minutes Jersey had nutted down B’s mouth. And B being the pro dick sucker he was drank all of Jersey’s nut. Although Jersey had nutted, B kept on sucking and had Jersey’s body jerking with pulsating pleasure as his dick became extra sensitive. But the more B sucked, Jersey felt his dick get hard once again and in a few seconds Jersey had nutted once more.
Dudes in the club look on in amazement at B’s oral skills as Me'shell Ndegeocello’s - Soul Searching was now playing in the background. B then got up and took Jersey to the back of the club. That night Jersey fucked B with a passion, at least three times. Indeed sex with B was way better than with Donavon and Jersey needed the release. They exchange numbers and Jersey said “I will text you later tonight” “Okay man, make sure you do; I’ll be waiting”, said B grabbing Jersey’s crotch and licking his lips. Jersey just smiled as he left to go back to where his boys were sitting. Later that night Jersey did some more drinking and some club hopping with his boys.
Coming home drunk to Donavon sleeping in the bed, Jersey couldn’t help but think of B as he pull off his clothes and got into bed. As Jersey drifted of to sleep he knew one thing; he was definitely coming back for some of B’s tight ass.
But little did Jersey know that B already knew who he was, who Donavon was, and that the two were in a relationship. In fact B is Donavon’s co-worker. And now B who had a crush on Jersey for the longest had tasted Jersey’s sweet nectar and now was determine to make Jersey his by any means necessary.
“That bitch Donavon doesn’t deserve a man like Jersey”, B thought as he looked at the piece of paper in his hand with Jersey’s cell number as he waited for Jersey to text him. Of course no text was received so B, knowing full well that it’s best to have the dude who is in the relationship text you first, but B decided to go ahead and stir up some trouble.
To be continued...
Self Love
"This is entitled Self Love"
My body is my temple,
So I'm a keep this simple.
Looking myself in the mirror,
What do I see?
The key word here is "I",
"I" don't care what you see.
"I" am me.
Flaws and all,
"I" love myself.
I have an AdDICKtion to myself,
I can careless about your money,
What job your working,
How good you look,
Or How many dudes you had fucked.
I refused to be another notch on your belt,
So you can tighten up your pants when your done,
Leaving me confused,
Your empty emotions covering my body.
Loving Myself,
In Love with Myself,
Either you or Myself?
I choose Myself.
Alone with Myself.
I'm happy with Myself....
Self Love.
An educated brutha,
Too smart for your games,
Move on to the next brutha,
I've stop playing games, when I was a child.
I'm a grown ass man, just loving his self.
Living my life,
I'm happy,
Just being myself.
Self Love...
Part 2 of my story "Eventually Everything Comes to the light" will be coming soon....
