I sat and wonder many times, and I am sure you have done this yourself from time to time. Have you ever thought of why it seems there aren't any real brothers out there? In the recent days I have been thinking about this strongly and quite recently I learn a valuable lesson on the importance of being real. Now of course their are real brothers out their, and it seems that the real ones get mistreated or push aside and the more they get pushed aside their thought process leads them to think and ask the same question. Once a real brother comes their way they treat him the same way that he had been treated and the cycle starts all over again.
This is true for almost everyone, gays, straight, bisexual, transsexual, and so on. It just keeps on going on and on. I've couldn't even allow good men to love me, because in the back of my mind I wonder if he was going to suddenly show his true colors. Looking for flaws in his wonderful exterior. What I didn't realize at the time, if you seek you shall find. Everyone will have some type of defect it's all about the willingness you have to deal with it and the same thing goes for him as well. But I digress...
We know exactly what we want, but I don't get why some dudes spend their time on men who isn't doing anything with their lives. It sort of makes you question yourself about the things lacking in yourself. Trust me I question myself as well, I would say things like "I'm a good person, why doesn't he realize it?" But if a man can't realize that he has something wonderful sitting right in front of him, but goes after the trash that is out there. He will never realize that you are the one. And if he can't see it then that's his lost and not yours. Don't ever make another man make you feel like your not worth it, because you are worth it and you don't have settle for nothing less than what you expect out of a man. Yes, you may be alone for a good while, because a good man will not just fall right into your lap. It takes time and I'm sure once you find that man, you'll feel so good that you found a man that you waited for and is on your level.
You know I go by this, GOD, your body, your mind, and your heart should be in agreement when you are deciding to get involve with some one.
GOD: He is your spiritual connection. They always say if your relationship with GOD is messed up, then what makes you think that your earthly relationships are going to work out. Now, lets break this down further. GOD is unconditional love, he will love you regardless and the more you talk with him, pray to him (mind you prayer is asking GOD for something, talking with him is a different story) and meditate on him, will strengthen the connection you have to him. And when you that pray that prayer about is this the right person for me, GOD will look at all the talks you had and give you an answers sometimes its not what we want but we know that it is for the best.
Your Body: Our bodies know what it likes and what it dislikes. I am talking about the sexual aspects of things. The only decision the body has to make is if he is pleasing to your eyes. Your body will mainly say yes, most of the time and this is when your mind has got to intervene.
Your Mind: When we asks questions about other peoples lives, their views on things. There are some things you'll agree with and something that you'll disagree with. The decision you mind has to make is if this person would be an asset or an liability to your life. Then comes the heart.
Your Heart: Your heart is the one that will finalize the decision. Sometimes your body will agree but the mind doesn't, but you'll your heart agrees. This happens all the time and this is when our relationship with GOD steps in. Now when the heart makes its decision it takes awhile for the decision to take place. Sometimes we can't stand to be around some dudes but after while they end up being our greatest love or our best friends. Time is the deciding factor. Give yourself time to get to know a man, why the rush? It's when we rush into things, we find our greatest hurt. During this time you should be talking with GOD, and praying to GOD and when we feel that little spark in our hearts we know what GOD has decided.
I wrote a poem awhile back called "Thoughts" it kind of captures what I am talking about, but I think you'll like it.
Just Some Random Thoughts...
"His Love"
His loving eyes tells it all,
That his love for me is real.
Kisses me with his smooth lips,
Tasting him is so sweet
His kisses lets me know,
That his love would last forever.
I look deep into his eyes and he tells me,
“baby I love you”.
His words are my refuge,
I fall back to sleep in the comfort of his love.
He leaves me a love note,
Baby,
You know your my heart have a great day a work
Love L
It makes me smile,
His love lets me knows he cares
When we go out,
His attention is always on me,
His love is the respect he has for me.
When we make love,
His gentle strokes, is pure ecstasy,
His love is my confirmation.
I fall asleep in his arms,
and I know when I awake,
His love will begin with a smile,
One Sunday
I never thought that I would meet a bother with some substance.” “Recently I’ve been meeting up with young kats that have no clue about life, and lately the sex is pretty much the same with these kats.” “No fire, no passion, no love; I just nut and leave.” “Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining but I’m getting older and I need stability in my life, I want to settle down.” “Tyler, what you need is CHURCH!!,” said Zachary. Zachary has been my friend since we were in high school. Zach had always been there for me, watching my back like a true friend suppose to do. I almost thought that I was going to lose Zach when I told him about my sexual preference. Zach accepted me, but being the Christian man that he is I know deep down, me being gay is a disappointment.
I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself my name is Tyler James, I currently reside in Florence, South Carolina. I’m 36 years old, I have my own place, car and I work at a local college. I’ve been in the life every since I was 18 and during those 18 years I’ve been down with dudes, I had only 2 boyfriends both who had cheated on me. My life sucks.
“Maybe I should try this church thing huh”, “It’s not a thing,” said Zach. “It’s an spiritual experience, my brother God has something in stored for you, you just wait and see.” “I guess... Well man let me get off this phone and get some sleep, I’ll see you at church tomorrow,” I said. Okay my brother be bless,” said Zach.
As I hung up the phone, I couldn’t help but to wonder, “Is this life style really for me.” I started to think back on those nights I would go cursing downtown picking up “trade” and enticing them to give me some head while I drove around the block a couple of times. I thought back on the nights when I use to pick up young kats and bring them back to the my apartment and fuck the shit out of them. I used to have threesomes, foursomes, and so on. It wasn’t until I met my first love David that slowed me down. Dam that boy was fine. He cater to all my needs, not only was he sexy this boy was smart. Working his way through college; had his own car, place and his own money. David was a inbetween brother, masculine in public but when I got his ass in the bed the bitch came out of him. I loved that about him. I used to love making him moan as I fed him my dick, and boy can he suck a mean dick. Just thinking about David made my dick jump right out of my boxers. It’s getting late and I’m horny as mother fucker, I’m sure God wouldn’t mind me busting a nut real quick.
The next morning I got up, took a shower and got dress. Got in the car and met up with Zach and his family at First Baptist Church. Funny how there are so many First Baptist Churches around, smiling at the thought and silently praying that this church isn’t one of those homophobic churches that throw the bible in your face.
Listening to the preacher speak, I found my self observing the members of the church. I notice this one guy in particular. Who was very handsome. I believe he was about 6ft 1in with a slim build. He wasn’t too skinny, or too muscular he was the right size. The way I like my men. When he stood I notice he had a little phatty too. Before I knew it I was rock hard in the middle of a church service. I try to focus on the service but this brother was just plain sexy. I was in a daze imagining this brother giving me head staring right at him. In a instant my lustful daze was broken when he caught me staring. He just smile and went back to praising the Lord.
After church Zach pull me to the side, “So how did you enjoy it?” “It was good man, I needed it.” Thinking to myself that I had no clue what the pastor talked about. “So I’ll will see you next Sunday right,” Zach said. “Yeah, I’ll be there. “Praise the Lord!” Zach said in loud tone. “I’ll call you later Zach.” “Okay, man be bless man and remember God got something in stored for you my brother, you just wait and see.”
Walking to my car I notice the brother I was checking out at church was upset about something. Before I could think, I asked “Is every thing okay.” “No, man my car won’t start and no body seems to have any jumper cables, you wouldn’t happen to have any,” he said. “No, man sorry” Still not thinking before I speak I asked, “Do you need a ride?” “Yeah, man that would be great.” “I’m Tyler by the way,” with my hand out ready for a hand shake. “Nice to meet you Tyler, I’m Martin.” “How far are you from here?” “I’m about 20 mins away,” dam there goes my gas I thought. “Well hop in brother.”
Riding to Martin place I got a better look at him and boy was he finer up close. He had a chestnut brown complexion and light brown eyes. “I really appreciated this,” said Martin breaking the silence in the car. “Oh not a problem, but I do have a question, ” “Shoot,” said Martin. “Why on earth do you travel this far out, just to go to church,” I asked. “Well, this church has been my church home every since I was child, I guess I just couldn’t give it up, so many memories,” said Martin. “I guess man, I guess,” with a smile on my face. Martin smile back and it wasn’t until then I notice how big is lips was. Just thinking about those lips pressed around my dick made me rock hard. Noticing my hard-on Martin told me to make a left here and we was at his house.
A simple 2 story house. It wasn’t much but it was home to Martin. “Would you like to come in?” he said. “Yeah, sure.” I have nothing else better to do I thought. Once we got inside his house. I notice that Martin was a big Steelers fan. Every where you look had something to do with the Steelers. “I see your a big fan” “Yeah, they been my favorite team for the longest,” said Martin coming out of the kitchen with two beer bottles in his hand. “Thanks man, their my favorite as well.” I said taking the cold beer for his hand. “The Steelers was suppose to be playing today, guess I read about it in the newspaper to see if they won or not.” I said. “No you don’t have to do that man, I recorded today’s game on Tivo.” “Want to watch it?” said Martin. “Sure, I’m down with that.”
Watching the game with Martin was really fun, we ordered take out, watch TV, movies and drunk beer for the rest of the afternoon. I notice that it was getting real late, but when I stood up I was so drunk that I couldn’t even walk. “You, okay to drive man,” said Martin. “Yeah.......I’m.......Okay.” “No your not, your staying right here for the night.” “You don’t even know me like that,” I said. “Well that’s a risk I’m going have to take,” said Martin. “Here, sit right here Tyler, while I go and get some blankets.”
Before I knew it I was passed out. When Martin came back he woke me up by taking my shoes off. I liked the idea of him undressing me. My dick grew hard at the thought. As he unbutton my dress shirt. I began smiling at him and he smile back and before I knew it I was pulling him into a passionate kiss. Martin tried to resist but soon gave in as my tongue search for his. “I am sorry man, I just don’t know what came over me.” I said. To my surprise Martin lean his head down and kiss me with a even more passionate kiss. He whisper into my ear “follow me.” Grabbing me by the hand. Martin lead me to his bedroom. Where he dim the lights and put on some of his favorite slow jams.
Pushing me on the bed. Martin slowly unbuckled my dress pants revealing my hard dick print in my boxers briefs. Martin looked at me with love in his eyes as he kiss my body from head to toe. Martin was craving my body just as I was craving his. Every kiss he planted on my body made my dick even harder. Pulling the boxer briefs off. Martin revealed my thick 9in dick. I could feel his warm breath on my dick as he kissed around my dick, first taking in my balls one by one. Martin slowly work his way up to the tip of my dick making my dick throb. Taking all of me in his mouth Martin sucked me as if it was his last dick he will ever suck. His tongue swirled around my dick like it was ice cream. Sending pure pleasure throughout my body.
Before I knew it, Martin had undressed himself and was sliding his warm ass on my dick. I could feel his insides stretch to the width of my dick. Moaning as he went down further taking all of me into him. Soon as Martin got use to my dick he began to ride my dick, I could feel how bad he wanted me as he squeeze his ass tighter around my dick. I was so close to nutting that I stop Martin and decided I wanted it from the back. He willing comply to my wish and he took my dick like a pro. Throwing that ass back on it. I couldn’t contain my self any longer as I busted a phat nut in that booty.
Pulling my limp dick from his ass. Laying next to him. Martin looked at me with seducing eyes, “that was nothing, I hope you ready for round two, I got more in store for you.....”
Later Down the Road...
Its been 5 years since I met Martin and Yes I made him mine after a couple of months dating and Hot nights of pleasure we been happy ever since. Dam I guess Zach was right God really had something in stored for me. I just had to wait and see.
