One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go of a situation, material things, or a person. Why is that? I've been reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and he talks about how we define ourselves by things we associate ourselves with, believing that without this associating relationship with things, or people we'll lose our identity. I thought about this and I started to think on all the things that bound me some how. I thought about my religion and how I put God in a box. Michale Eric Dyson say it the best. Mr. Dyson said, "When we close our bibles doesn't mean that God stops speaking". Not his exact words but pretty close. I also thought about my sexuality and how my usage of labels created for me a box, which allowed me to operate only in the confines of its boundaries. I remember speaking to this one man who claim that being gay was not who he was but something that he does. We debated on the subject and in conclusion we agreed to disagree. Now when I look back, he was just saying that "I don't identify with gay, it's not who I am". There are so many labels I give myself and unknowingly live within the boundaries of these labels. Now there was a time in my life where I wanted nothing to do with anything gay, my reasoning was that (All gay men isn't capable of love).
Mental Slavery: Letting Go of the Labels . . .
Just Some Random Thoughts...
I sat and wonder many times, and I am sure you have done this yourself from time to time. Have you ever thought of why it seems there aren't any real brothers out there? In the recent days I have been thinking about this strongly and quite recently I learn a valuable lesson on the importance of being real. Now of course their are real brothers out their, and it seems that the real ones get mistreated or push aside and the more they get pushed aside their thought process leads them to think and ask the same question. Once a real brother comes their way they treat him the same way that he had been treated and the cycle starts all over again.
This is true for almost everyone, gays, straight, bisexual, transsexual, and so on. It just keeps on going on and on. I've couldn't even allow good men to love me, because in the back of my mind I wonder if he was going to suddenly show his true colors. Looking for flaws in his wonderful exterior. What I didn't realize at the time, if you seek you shall find. Everyone will have some type of defect it's all about the willingness you have to deal with it and the same thing goes for him as well. But I digress...
We know exactly what we want, but I don't get why some dudes spend their time on men who isn't doing anything with their lives. It sort of makes you question yourself about the things lacking in yourself. Trust me I question myself as well, I would say things like "I'm a good person, why doesn't he realize it?" But if a man can't realize that he has something wonderful sitting right in front of him, but goes after the trash that is out there. He will never realize that you are the one. And if he can't see it then that's his lost and not yours. Don't ever make another man make you feel like your not worth it, because you are worth it and you don't have settle for nothing less than what you expect out of a man. Yes, you may be alone for a good while, because a good man will not just fall right into your lap. It takes time and I'm sure once you find that man, you'll feel so good that you found a man that you waited for and is on your level.
You know I go by this, GOD, your body, your mind, and your heart should be in agreement when you are deciding to get involve with some one.
GOD: He is your spiritual connection. They always say if your relationship with GOD is messed up, then what makes you think that your earthly relationships are going to work out. Now, lets break this down further. GOD is unconditional love, he will love you regardless and the more you talk with him, pray to him (mind you prayer is asking GOD for something, talking with him is a different story) and meditate on him, will strengthen the connection you have to him. And when you that pray that prayer about is this the right person for me, GOD will look at all the talks you had and give you an answers sometimes its not what we want but we know that it is for the best.
Your Body: Our bodies know what it likes and what it dislikes. I am talking about the sexual aspects of things. The only decision the body has to make is if he is pleasing to your eyes. Your body will mainly say yes, most of the time and this is when your mind has got to intervene.
Your Mind: When we asks questions about other peoples lives, their views on things. There are some things you'll agree with and something that you'll disagree with. The decision you mind has to make is if this person would be an asset or an liability to your life. Then comes the heart.
Your Heart: Your heart is the one that will finalize the decision. Sometimes your body will agree but the mind doesn't, but you'll your heart agrees. This happens all the time and this is when our relationship with GOD steps in. Now when the heart makes its decision it takes awhile for the decision to take place. Sometimes we can't stand to be around some dudes but after while they end up being our greatest love or our best friends. Time is the deciding factor. Give yourself time to get to know a man, why the rush? It's when we rush into things, we find our greatest hurt. During this time you should be talking with GOD, and praying to GOD and when we feel that little spark in our hearts we know what GOD has decided.
I wrote a poem awhile back called "Thoughts" it kind of captures what I am talking about, but I think you'll like it.
