"Untitled 2"

Time encompasses,
Our moment together,
Forever in my mind,
Not a day goes by,
When I don't think of you,
When I didn't dream of you.

Slowly the pain,
Drips from the confines,
Of my dreams down to,
the chambers of my heart,
And manifests,
its self,
as warm tears that,
I leave on my pillow.

A symbol of a heart breaking,
A sign of a soul dying.

Our love dies,
(The pain)
Of saying
(The sorrow)
Goodbye.

"Untiitled 1"

The two of us in the bed,
Listening to the words left unsaid,
Enjoying each other on another rainy day.

Holding you in my arms,
Loving you is charmed.

It's raining . . .

Looking you in the eyes,
Thanking God your mine.

It's raining . . .

Making love to you,
It's raining . . .
Tasting you ,
It's raining . . .
We're Climaxing,
It's raining . . .
I'm out of breath,
It's raining . . .

"I Love You"

Listening to the words left unsaid,
The two of us int the bed,
Enjoying each other on another rainy day.

Holding you in my arms,
Loving you is charmed.

It's raining . . .

Eventually Everything Comes to the Light Pt. 3

The Characters
Donavon – Main Character
Jersey – Donavon’s boyfriend
B (Real Name – Brian) – Jersey’s Paramour

Trent - Brian's Old College Friend

Well I know its been awhile. Please forgive me for taking five months to write another installment to the EEC2TL Series. I was looking back on my old post and I couldn't believe that I just let the story hang. Me and a friend of my (Mz. Bells) been helping with some ideas for the story line. So if you haven't read part 1 and 2 they are located in the month of June of 2009.

Five Months & Some Feelings

“Dam”, was what I thought when I looked over at the clock. B was sleeping peacefully in the bed after our little fuck session. “Fuck, that boy knew how to put it on a nigga”, “The way he moved his ass up on down on my shit”, I thought to myself smiling at the memory. It’s been five months since me and B been fucking on the side. I was still involve with Donavon. It was tough between us at first and after two months of arguing and shit, he finally let up after I told him there was nothing even going on between us. Guess he got tired of fighting with me. I told B that we needed to cool it for awhile while I tie up the loose ends to make Donavon feel secure. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fuck out of Donavon. He’s been there when I didn’t have shit. He help me through a rough patch in my life when know seem to care. I really do love him but lately it seems as though that spark we once had isn’t there anymore, but to find a dude that can love me like Donavon can, is dam there near next to impossible. You know how these gays are out here, seems like all they think about is getting the dick and once they got what they want. Mother fuckers bounce right on the next dick. Now I'm not knocking a hoeish nigga, when a nigga needs to get his dick wet, these hoes out here are just what I need to get the job done. But like the old saying goes, “You can’t turn a hoe, into a housewife especially no nigga”.

I glance over at B, “Dam, he look so fucking good and his boxer briefs. B was the type of dude that was a man in the streets and at home, but as soon as I got his ass in the sheets, he became the bitch I needed. We didn’t argue like Donavon and I did and if we did it wasn't over some pussy shit. He was like one of the homeboys that I smash once in awhile. I smile to myself as I gazed at B. . . . there was something different about this nigga. I mean it was all about the fucking at first, but now I think I was actually starting to develop feelings for him. “What are you thinking about Jersey?” B said lifting his head up from the pillow. “Nothing baby”. “Just thinking about how sexy you look when you sleep”. “Awww, well aren’t you fucking sweet” B said in a tired voice. “Isn’t it almost time for you to head back to your fucking Donavon”, “Yeah, it is” Jersey said in dull tone. It was almost five in the morning. I told Donavon that I had to work late and will not be coming home till early in the morning. He protest a little, but as soon as I laid this good dick on his ass, he had no objections. I notice B was staring at my boxers when I felt my dick jump at the thought of fucking. “Seems like someone is ready for another round”, “Nah, I’m good man, I really need to be heading home” I said as I grab my pants off the floor. Before I knew it B was in front of me, grabbing my shit. “Fuck, B I really got to go” I said pushing him away. B didn’t said a word, instead he pulled my pants out of my hands and slid my boxers down to my knees. “let me just handle this before you go” and as the last word left his lips, he began licking the head of my dick. Tasting my pre-nut and before I could stop him he had me balls deep in his mouth. “I told you there was something about this nigga, besides I still have time to spare”, I thought as I laid back on the bed.

Friday Morning . . . Poor Donavon

I awake in our sun lit room to find that Jersey hasn’t come home yet. Concern came across my face, but soon disappear when I thought back to our conversation yesterday. “Don’t wait up for me” said Jersey. Even though I knew he was working I still had this strange feeling that there was something more to the story than what he was telling me. “I shouldn’t be thinking like this” I thought to myself. Just then I heard the door slam down stairs. “Jersey is that you?” I yelled. “Who else could it be” he said in a aggravated tone. “Don’t be a smart ass Jersey”, “Look babe, I’m really tired from work; lets not start this morning” Jersey said as he walked into the bedroom. “Your right” I said getting up to give him a hug. Before I could even get close to him he pushes me away; talking about he needed to shower. “Alright” I said, “Do you want some breakfast”. “Nah, I’m good, I think I’m just going to go ahead and hit the bed and rest up for tonight. “You have to work again tonight?” I said. “Of course, and it looks like I’m going be coming home late again” he said with a smile, trying to keep the peace between us. “Okay”, I said in disappointed tone. “Thanks babe, I knew you will understand”. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you” he said grabbing his dick. I wasn’t that impress. It seem lately that sex was Jersey’s answer to everything. Sex with Jersey was hell of good, but it was the little things he used to do which turned me on. I remember how we would talk all night, play video games together, and how he used to say “I Love You” every chance he got. But as I gaze upon this man. I don’t even know who he is anymore. A stranger who is living in my house. “Donavon? Donavon?” he yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts. “I knew the dick was good, but dam babe”, “Got you daydreaming and shit” Jersey said smiling that smile I use to know before heading off to the bathroom. All I could do was just sigh.

Friends for Life?

B’s old college roommate has come back into town from California and they both decided to meet up at a restaurant to catch up on old times.

“What up Trent?” “Haven’t seen you in awhile?” B said getting up from the table giving Trent a enthusiastic hug. Trent was about 6’4 weighing about 236lbs and had muscles for days. Trent was a gym rat in college and by the looks of his body, he still was. Trent, not only had looks, he was also a gentleman through and through. At first glance you wouldn’t even think that Trent was gay. Trent and I were excellent at hiding that side of ourselves from each other in college. Both of us didn’t even have a clue; until one day, I was on a black gay social networking site and he hit me up. Well I didn’t know who he was at the time because we both didn’t have pictures posted. We were afraid that some dude might recognize us. We were so nervous about dudes finding us out that we even use fake names to give us more cover. What can I say, when it came to being discreet we had it down pack. Anyways, Trent or should I say (David) and I decided to meet up at a restaurant the following day, we’ve exchange phone numbers and he told me to call him when I get there. Me being the impatient one, decided that I want to at least hear his voice before I go off and meet a dude who turns out to be the opposite of what I was expecting. Now mind you, when I decided to call we were both in our dorm room. So I dial the number and Trent’s phone rung. I didn’t even think nothing of it. I actually thought it was an odd coincidence. Trent pick up the phone and when I heard his voice on my end. We both look at each other in shock. After an awkward moment of silence, Trent just started to laugh to break the tension. We had a long talk and came to the conclusion that it was best not to hook up because Trent felt a little weird about us being friends and he didn’t want to ruin that. Which is understandable, but I wouldn’t had mind getting a piece of Trent. Since the move we didn't talk that much, but we always made an effort to keep in contact with one another and I'm glad we did, still buddies for life . . .at least for now.

“So hows California been treating you and how long you will be staying?” I said. “Well California has been treating me good, but my job decided to transfer me back to work with the Atlanta branch”. “So does that mean . . .” “Yes, I will be here in good ol' Atlanta, Georgia until further notice” said Trent with a excited smile.

“Ahh man thats great, were going to have to celebrate, how about we go to our old hangout spot?”

“Man, I thought Club X closed down a long time ago”.

“Nah, man its still going strong and it's still the hottest spot to pick up the finest niggas in the ATL; in fact I met someone there”, I said.

“Oh, really. So B finally met someone. That’s great man I thought you will never stick with one dude considering what had happen in college”. Trent said in a concern tone.

“Ah man, why you gotta bring shit up from the past and besides it’s not even like that, but I think there is a possibility”

“Well who ever it is, seems like a great guy, but make sure you know who your dealing with; The last guy you messed with nearly had you put in the hospital”. said Trent deepen his concern tone.

“Don’t worry man, I’m the one in control this time”

“Alright, alright, I’ll trust in your judgement” said Trent.

“Yeah, man, anyway enough about me are we still on for tonight?” said B

“Yeah, I need to get out anyway”, said Trent.

“Yeah you do maybe you’ll meet someone out here”

“It’s funny you should said that man. There is someone out here whom I’m looking forward to getting re-aquatinted with”, said Trent with a smile on his face.

“Oh yeah, thats right you did use to go with Donavon” said B with a sly smile.

To be Continue . . .

"The Letter"

I love it when a song can inspire me to write. The song playing in the background is Joss Stone's "Girlfriend on Demand". This is a fictional "Dear John" letter, but was composed with some of my own experiences in mind. Enjoy

Dear John,

By the time you read this I'll be long gone, on my way from here. I'm glad my friend gave you this letter for me, I know you was confused to see him at my apartment instead of me. Anyways, I never thought I would ever write a letter such as this, but in order to get what I need to say out. It’s best for the both of us that I write it out. It’s been two years since we’ve been together and in those two years we had our ups and we had our downs. I remember when I first saw you across the street. After we exchanged glances I couldn’t believe how bold you were when you struck up a conversation with me and later ask me for my number. Do you remember how we would stay up all night, just talking about anything. I cherish those nights when we were on the phone and you felled asleep in the middle of our conversation LOL. Did you know that I’ve once laid in the bed and listened to sound of you breathing before I hung up? In that moment I’ve realized I was starting to fall in love with you. I remember when I accidentally let those three little words slip one night and you look at me, smile and gave me the biggest, most passionate kiss and told me you love me as well. At first things were cool. You would come over on some nights and we would watch movies, talk and kiss; then some how we would end up in my bed, making love till the sun came up. It wasn’t the sex that made me happy, I was happy just being in your arms, just being in love and finally having it reciprocated. Then something changed. Our phone calls became text messages and when I would call you never picked up. You would just text me back some excuse of how you couldn’t talk to me follow by the words “I luv U”. Your time with me became short and brief and when I would get emotional about somethings that was going in my life, you would get angry and tell me to just man up. I thought I could come to you for support but I guess I was wrong. Our love making became meaningless sex where I felt you were out to pleasure yourself instead of making it enjoyable for me as well. Was I was just a late night sex buddy to you? It didn’t even occurred to me that you hardly ever took me out, and if we did go out it was places where people would never be able to recognize you. I just couldn’t understand why. And when I confronted you about it; you would say that you're a private person and then follow up with some sweet gesture that would reassure me that I was something more and I just accepted it, couldn’t even stay mad at you for long. What can I say, I was in love with you and I just knew without a doubt you felt the same way. Even when those three little words disappeared from your vocabulary. I just thought, “its all in his actions”. But soon your actions didn’t measured up either. To your family and friends I was “just a friend” and you even introduce me as your cousin to your “ex-girlfriend” once, when we saw her in the store. Did you know how much that hurt, and how embarrassing It was for me to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. I doubt that you did. Yet, still I stuck around, hoping and praying that you would be the man I knew you could be. I should have known that when a man can’t speak of his love for you, then it means the love he has for you isn't in his heart anymore. It wasn’t until I saw you holding hands with a young lady in a restaurant when I was out with one of friends and a little boy by your side who looks a lot like you. At first I thought maybe it was just a family member or a really good friend, but then the little boy said, "kiss mommy, daddy" and you leaned over and gave her the passionate kiss I once felt. And in that moment all of my questions were answered. So here I am writing you this letter, my goodbye. I should be angry at you, don’t get me wrong I did a lot of thinking and crying over about what I should do, Wondering if I should confront you or not. When you texted me today asking if we can meet up just after a couple of days I saw you with her. I was even considering to be “that guy on the side” because of this slither of love I still have for you, but you know as well as I do, there is no fun in being in love all by yourself. Besides your son and girlfriend needs you more than I do and it's obvious you need them too.

Signed. . .
Your Once Boyfriend on Demand

Lyric

Sexual Frustrations

"Well It has truly been a while, well the title of this short story is pretty self-explanatory LOL. One thing I try to do with this story is make so that any one who loves a delicious black man can insert themselves into the story, by not revealing the sex of the teller of the story" Hope you enjoy . . .

I imagine him in a dark room lit by the vanilla scented candles he lay out for me. I smile a gleaming smile as I walked into our bedroom after taking a hot bath that he drew for me earlier when I got home for work. As a wave of vanilla caresses my senses, I couldn’t wait to see what else he had in store for me. He handed me a glass of wine and as I took a couple of sips I couldn’t help but think how the light of the candles made his shirtless body even more irresistible than it already was detailing every muscle perfectly. Especially the "V" that form at the bottom of his stomach, beckoning me to reveal what was underneath his black satin pajama pants that outlined his semi-hard dick. He let out a soft laugh as he watches my eyes take in his beauty and said, “you’re the beautiful one” in his smooth baritone voice. My eyes immediately shifted to his chestnut brown eyes, at the shock of him knowing what I was thinking. He flashes that smile that always made me weak in the knees. He then motions me to sit on the bed with him as we toast to our love. Setting his drink on the bed stand after taking a couple of sips, he looks me deep in my eyes as if he was trying to see into my soul. And in an instant we kiss.

His lips were so soft and as his tongue search for mine I hunger for more of his sweet taste. Pleasure pulsates throughout my body as his tongue slowly slips from my mouth to my neck. He then lays me down and kisses my body by planting soft gentle kisses that turns me on even more. The touch of his hands and lips simultaneously touching my body sends me into pure ecstasy. Moaning softly with every kiss, I then felt his tongue enter me. Gripping the sheets with every thrust of his tongue, my moans became louder and louder as he held my body down to keep me from moving away. “Ahhh,” was all I can say as his tongue swirled inside of me. After a half and hour of being inside of me, he pulled out. I was exhausted with pleasure but still my body wanted more . . .

more of him.

I watch him as he pulled off his silk pajama pants revealing what I have been waiting for. As I sat up in the bed I couldn’t help but admired the perfect length/width of his dick. My mouth began to water as his dick began to throb, eagerly wanting to find its refuge in my mouth. I took his dick into my hand and began to let it slowly slip into my eager mouth. Tasting his sweetness as my tongue swirled around the head and then down his shaft. I could tell by his moans that he was enjoying it as much as I was. With every stroke of my tongue, I could feel his heart pulsating faster and faster. I decided that I will try something new and see how he reacts. I then laid him down on the bed with his dick still in my mouth. And as I went up and down on his dick, sucking it like lollipop; I started to vibrate my tongue along his shaft to the tip of his dick. ”Aww, shit baby!” was all he could muster as his toes curled and his eyes closed shut trying to force his nut back. I decided that enough was enough; I had to have him inside of me . . .

He slowly enters me cautiously, trying not to hurt me. I moan as I felt my insides begin to stretch and warp tightly around his dick. Inch by inch he filled me up to full capacity. He tells me to put my legs around his neck as he slowly goes in and out of me. He knew I would try to run but the missionary position he had me in kept me from moving at all. I was his to have and his to take. He looked deeply in my eyes and tells me to relax as he felt me tighten up. I obey his command. The pain soon subsides then pure pleasure overtook me. The more he thrust deep inside the more I wanted him to go even deeper. Noticing my moans of pleasures he thrusts his dick deeper and faster inside of me. Taking my body, mind and soul to places it never has been before. An insatiable hunger was building up in me. My hands grip the sheets anticipating the orgasmic pleasure he was about to cause, but he stops and tells me not yet. “I want this to last forever,” he whispers as he pulls out of me and lies on the bed motioning for me to ride him. I slowly slid down on his dick as my body felt empty with out him inside of me. Up and down I went on his dick. I love the control I had over him as I tighten my insides around his dick when I went down, and slowly releasing him as I went up. I move with fervor as I heard his moans grew louder. I couldn’t control myself anymore . . . I had to have his nut. I quicken my motions as I slid up and down on his dick. I could feel his body tense up underneath me as I tighten up even harder. In between his heavy breathing he tires to muster up the words “stop” but couldn’t. He and I knew that it was only a matter of time. As I rode his dick faster and harder I felt that I was about to orgasm too. His heavy breathing and my moans turn each of us on even more. And as I went down on his dick for the last time and I felt both of our orgasms coming on

I . . . I . . . I . . . I . . .










Woke up . . . “Dam!” . . .






Was all I could think of.

Feelings (A Letter to Love) (revised)

"When I find you again,
I’m a love you the best way I can.
I can’t promise you much,
But what I can promise is,
That I will give you all of me this time.


Wounded spirit,
I yearn,
To feel you,
To touch you,
To truly be with you,
In Mind,
In Body,
In Soul,

And,
In,

Love,

You have been there all along,
Even when I chose not to,
Acknowledge your existence.

I took you for granted.
I lost you,
Once before,
And I lost you once again.


I cried myself to sleep,
To the song we made Love to.
Awoke with fresh tears on my pillow.
Because I dreamed about having you apart of me once again.

To be in your presence once again,
To taste your sweetness once again,
Even if it is just for a second
Or another life time

To be in Love with you Love
once again…."

Mental Slavery: Letting Go of the Labels . . .

One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go of a situation, material things, or a person. Why is that? I've been reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and he talks about how we define ourselves by things we associate ourselves with, believing that without this associating relationship with things, or people we'll lose our identity. I thought about this and I started to think on all the things that bound me some how. I thought about my religion and how I put God in a box. Michale Eric Dyson say it the best. Mr. Dyson said, "When we close our bibles doesn't mean that God stops speaking". Not his exact words but pretty close. I also thought about my sexuality and how my usage of labels created for me a box, which allowed me to operate only in the confines of its boundaries. I remember speaking to this one man who claim that being gay was not who he was but something that he does. We debated on the subject and in conclusion we agreed to disagree. Now when I look back, he was just saying that "I don't identify with gay, it's not who I am". There are so many labels I give myself and unknowingly live within the boundaries of these labels. Now there was a time in my life where I wanted nothing to do with anything gay, my reasoning was that (All gay men isn't capable of love).

Hey, I was young at the time LOL.

Anyways, with that reasoning in my "young" mind, I decided to remove myself from the gay lifestyle. So I started to drop gay men that obviously wasn't going anywhere in there lives. Basically going through my phone book on my cell deleting numbers. To make a long story short, I started to get bored, then I felt empty inside and then lonely. I couldn't let the lifestyle go because the lifestyle had become who I was. How often we find ourselves trapped in the confines of labels that we or other people give to us. Gay, Straight, Bi, Black, White, Asian, Racist, Sexy, Top, Bottom, Versatile, Man, Woman, Christian, Muslim, Low Class, High Class, Middle Class, Classy, Hoe and so many more. What happens to a person who dis-identifies with labels and release the chains of a mental slavery . . . I wonder is that what true freedom is like . . . free to just be me . . .

Just As I Am: E. Lynn Harris

" 'You know I love you . . . that I believe in you. You know what's in my heart. I'm sorry I was hiding. I was hurting. I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm not going to let the people who claim they represent you take away my faith. I won't let them do that. They can't have my faith. But can't there be joy in faith, joy in love. I know you love me. I know that one day I'll have love right here,' Sean said as he punched his fist toward his heart. 'I love you, Lord, and I know you love me. If I have to be alone here on earth, then please don't let me be lonely. Show me the way and I will follow. I won't hide anymore. And when it hurts, I'll know that you're there, ready to soothe me, when soothing is what I need. Thank you, Lord and tell everybody, hey. All my friends. Tell Zach hi and for him to give Zurich a clue. Okay . . . I love you. I believe in you and I will talk to you again real soon. Peace out, God!'"

"Tears began to roll down Sean's face, and the cool wind dried them. Talking to God made Sean feel strong, sure of himself. He took a deep breath of the cool air, and suddenly, he knew who he was and what he wanted. He felt cleansed by his talk and wind seemed to vitalize him with a surge of hope. He had the feeling of satisfaction that came from making a positive step in life, a big step. Sean blew a kiss toward the sky and moon and went back to his apartment and slept."

Source: "And This Too Shall Pass" (pg. 335-336)

When I had heard of E. Lynn Harris' death, I didn't even know what to think. I was doing my usually "boredashell" web surfing and I caught a glimpse of a news headline that said E. Lynn Harris had died. When I found the website, I thought, "What in the world is going on". It seems like all the good ones are being taken away from us and too soon at that. Then I thought back to my favorite E. Lynn Harris' book "And This Too Shall Pass". I remember reading this book when I was living in Houston, Texas a couple of years ago. I was working as an intern then for an HBCU. Anyways I was in the medical Library and as I was reading the passage above. I couldn't help but shed some tears. Books made me laugh, made me angry but I have never read a book that made me cry nor made me feel that my sexuality wasn't something ugly but a treasure to be cherished. Like I said in a comment on a fellow blogger's blog. "For me he (E. Lynn Harris) bridged the gap between me, being gay and my relationship with the Lord". I'm going to miss you E. Lynn Harris. And I thank you for breathing life into a sexuality that seem to be looked upon as something dirty and transforming it into something beautiful.

Jaspects: "Making Music Mean Something to the World at-Large"

These days it seems that the music that is out today seems to be losing its meaning. Mainstream music has become nothing but hot beats and catchy phrases to go a long with it. My friend and I were talking about this and he gave me a link to Al Sharpton talking about how music should be up-lifting and that....well I let you view the link lol. But I digress...

Without further ado, I would like to present...

Jaspects...A group that has something to say to an up-lifting beat.

I first heard of Jaspects while I was in college and felled in love with them when I first heard "My First Love feat. Janelle Monae" (I'm sure most of you have heard of her) Unlike Ms. Janelle Monae very few people have ever heard of the group Jaspects. This group has successfully blended Jazz music with that of R&B, and Hip-hop. The vibe of this group is addicting. I find myself relaxing to their infectious beat (The music that is playing in the background is Fallin' by Jaspects from there new Album "The Polkadotted Stripe" which came out in April of this year. Another song that I happen to love from "The Polkadotted Stripe" album has to be "Find My Way to Love feat. Chantae Cann" (I love her voice on this track) which makes me feel some type of way.

Here is some background information I found that I think you may find interesting.

"Born during the hip-hop movement, Jaspects integrates their youthful skill to progress music and build a bridge between musical genres. Formally trained alumni of Morehouse College’s music department, Jaspects’ goal is to produce an exhaustive musical experience that involves TRUE freedom of expression via musical and lyrical creativity.

Jaspects’ latest album The Polkadotted Stripe embodies Jaspects’ thesis as it interrogates the idea of musical, social, and political freedom. The concept of the group’s fourth effort procures from the world of fashion. Delving deep into research, Jaspects learned that the fashion truth bastardizing the marriage of polka dots and stripes is man-made. Therefore, Jaspects’ The Polkadotted Stripe inquires: “What is truth?” Upon much discussion and studying, Jaspects recognized that in most instances reality is well, relative. With that in mind, The Polkadotted Stripe defined is someone or something that debunks the notion of social standards.

Jaspects works to rescue the concept of musicianship while breaking down the structural constraints of hip-hop. The band promotes the idea that the culture of hip-hop can support an entity that focuses on musical depth without ostracizing the mainstream fan of the genre. Jaspects uses music as a change agent in ways pioneers such as Public Enemy, Erykah Badu, and Marvin Gaye have. The message conveyed by Jaspects remains consistent, "make your music mean something to the world at-large."

The collective operates out of Atlanta and consists of T. Brown (Memphis, TN), Jon-Christopher Sowells (Dallas), drummer Henry “HC3” Conerway, III (Detroit), Dwayne “Spacey” Dugger (Queens, NY), Stagolee (Aniston, AL), and King James (Stamford, CT). In addition to PDS, Jaspects has released three other independent albums: In ‘House’ Sessions (2005), Broadcasting the Definition (2006), and Double Consciousness (2007).

Individually, Jaspects’ works have appeared in the 2005 major motion picture “Hustle & Flow,” on Chamillionaire’s platinum albums “Chamillitary” and “Sound of Revenge,” on Carlos Santana’s “All That I Am,” and with platinum recording artists David Banner, Wyclef Jean, Big Boi (“Kryptonite”), and Mary J. Blige (“Just Fine”). Collectively, Jaspects has shared bills with: Dwele, Bilal, Mike Phillips, Herbie Hancock, Eric Roberson, Stevie Wonder, Brian McKnight, and rap phoneme Drake. Jaspects has also collaborated with Grammy-nominated artists Janelle Monae, PJ Morton and Anthony David, in addition to Kedar Entertainment act Algebra, and Good Music’s Fonzworth Bentley."

Source: http://www.myspace.com/jaspects

Now before you go, I just have one more thing to show you ;0)

Jaspects presents: Unifunk from Jaspects Music on Vimeo.

Ambiguous

Hard to explain,
Try to keep quiet.
Hard to comprehend,
Try not to understand it.

Assured yet doubtful,
Benevolent, yet cruel,
Simple yet convoluted,
Is this feeling I have for you…

Romans 8:28 & Psalms 73: For The Good of Them

"There have been plenty of times in college where I woke up in the middle of the night with a heavy heart. Feeling lost, confused and lonely and at the time all I had was GOD, myself and my music for encouragement. So this is a little story of mine, just me talking with God and telling a story. Enjoy..."


I’m sitting here writing this not only for me but to who ever is reading this, maybe someone will get encouragement out of this. Sometimes in the middle of the night I awake with a pain deep in my heart, it brings tears to my eyes as I ponder on why I am here? What is my purpose? It seems that I take two steps forward and I always being pushed not only three steps back but all the way to the starting line. My dreams aren’t being realized, love seems like it don’t even want to be bother with me. And sometimes GOD, I just feel like you have given up on me.

Why is it I’m the one helping others but when I need help no one is there for me, Why is it that I give love but when I need love no one is there for me! I give myself to others and when I need to rely on them I’m the one that gets left outside in the cold. I carry the problems of others, while ignoring my own. I try to be the best person you taught me to be. But it seems like the more I do good the worst my situation gets.....

Can’t you see my tears Lord!, can’t you hear me crying to you!, can’t you feel my pain? I’m trying Lord!, I am trying my best!

I...I...I thank you for the good times I had but I can’t even enjoy my good times because I’m worrying how long it will last because my good times are short lived. Will I ever be happy, will I ever smile again, will I ever stop crying and waking up with this heavy burden on my heart. I love you GOD but sometimes I just don’t know about your plans. Sometimes I wish you can just give me a glimpse of my wonderful future that I hear people telling me, you have for me. Just a glimpse, so that I can keep on going, keep moving forward, so that I can rest in knowing that all of these problems, friends walking out, family not being supportive, feelings of loneliness, knowing that I am not going through this storm in vain. I’m sorry to question you like this but sometimes it hurts so much that I have to to ask you GOD, “is this really necessary?”

And with a quickness, in the late hour, a voice that was soothing to my soul said to me, “Just be still, I’m working on it”.

And in a instant I felled right asleep and though my pillows were wet, I slept so peaceful. When the morning came that same soothing voice said to me before I could raise my head up, “All things work together for the Good of them”. "Since, you've questioned me, I just have one question for you". “Do you Love Me?”

Yes, was my answer...

I smiled a wonderful smile, joy came that morning. And though my situation is still the same, I now have a new perspective...

Because in the end I know that it will workout for (you say it it)!

Play Me :)

Maybe Tomorrow: A Tribute to Michael Jackson (1958-2009)

This has truly been a sad day, now I am not the one to get teary eyed over a singer's death, but I'm not even going to lie. Being awoke out of my nap by my mother calling to tell me Michael had passed made me feel some type way, I must admit I didn't even think it was real at first. Until I saw CNN, FOX, and hearing it all on over the radio, I was just in utter shock as I know most of you were. It's reminds you that life can be taken away from anyone in a instant. Hearing Michael's - Stranger In Moscow, brought tears to my eyes and I just started reminiscing on the times I use to dance in front of that TV to Michael's videos, how I use to play "Thriller" countless times, closed my eyes as I listen to Maybe Tomorrow and gotten the chills off of Man in the Mirror. Michael Jackson you will always be dear to my heart and he will forever live on in his music.

Here are some of my favorite songs from Michael Jackson that made me smile, cry, and dance. He would want us to remember all the good things about him. Rest In Peace Michael Jackson you will be Missed.

Get Your Own Free Hypster.com Playlist.

Eventually Everything Comes to the Light Pt. 2

The Characters
Donavon – Main Character
Jersey – Donavon’s boyfriend
B (Real Name –Brian) – Jersey’s Paramour

The Argument:

As I walked through the kitchen, through the living room and back up the stairs, by anger grew. The thoughts of Jersey making love to another man were too much for me to bear. My tears came pouring out as I walked into our bedroom and told Jersey to get his ass up. “What’s up baby?” said Jersey with a confused look on his face. “Jersey, I have to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me, okay?” “Babe, can’t this wait, I got to get up in a few”. “No, this can’t wait!” yelled Donavon. “Babe, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Just then Donavon walks over towards the bed and picks up Jersey’s pants and pulls out Jersey's cell phone. “Who the fuck is B, Jersey?” said Donavon showing Jersey the text message. “Yo, what the fuck you doing reading my text messages?” said Jersey, sitting himself up in the bed. “Man, don’t try and turn this shit on me bruh, who the fuck is B?” “B is just a dude I met at the club.” “We dance and that was that!” said Jersey grabbing his cell phone out of Donavon’s hand. “See, this is what I’m talking about” “What you mean?” said Donavon. “I can’t stand when you get jealous; you act like a straight bitch.” “Getting upset over some text message” said Jersey in a nasty tone. “I’m not jealous…” “Fine okay I just think it’s suspicious that some dude you may have dance with or flirted with in the club is sending you a text message like this” “Did you even tell him you had a boyfriend?” said Donavon breathing kind of hard. “No, I didn’t”, said Jersey in a harsh tone. “Look babe nothing didn’t even happen, I don’t even no why you are tripping off of this”. “I feel as though you had been drifting away from me Jersey, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore”. “You work, go to the clubs and…” said Donavon being cut off by Jersey. “I don’t want hear this bitchiness okay!” “You’re a man so fucking act like it” said Jersey lying back down in the bed. “I’m going back to sleep, I don’t want to hear nothing more of this fucking drama, end of the fucking discussion!” said Jersey rolling over on his side.

So What the Fuck Really Had Happen at the Club?

Jersey and Donavon didn’t speak much that morning. An eerie feeling was being felt as the two walked passed each throughout the house. As Donavon wondered what Jersey could have been hiding, Jersey was relieved that he dodged a huge bullet early this morning.

See, this is what really had happen….

Jersey and his boys saw B dancing on dance floor at the club and Jersey decided to flirt a bit and dance with B in spite of his boys telling that isn’t a good idea, but Jersey went over any way. Jersey found B to not only be sexy and masculine but very intelligent. Qualities that Donavon obviously had but B had something else. He was spontaneous and sexually adventurous. Before he knew it, Jersey found him self turned on by the sexual moves B put on him on the dance floor. Donavon was more of a classy type of guy and would have never done some of the moves B was doing. This is the reason why Jersey never asked Donavon to the club, because the truth is, Donavon was no fun. As B rub his firm ass against Jersey’s now hard dick, Jersey knew in an instant that B had some type of move up his sleeve but what came next was unexpected.

As B grind even harder against Jersey’s dick, B turn to face Jersey and slid down Jersey’s body and started to unzip his pants and pulled Jersey’s dick out. Before Jersey could have stopped him, Jersey’s 9in dick was down B’s throat right on the dance floor. Jersey couldn’t resist the warmth of B’s mouth as B slurp and sucked his dick with a passion. Jersey looked up and closed his eyes and started to moan. Dudes in the club surrounded them and watch as B gave Jersey the best head he ever had. With the added quality of being watch and B’s warm mouth, Jersey felt his orgasm, he tried to pull out of B’s mouth but B wouldn’t let go of his dick. In a couple minutes Jersey had nutted down B’s mouth. And B being the pro dick sucker he was drank all of Jersey’s nut. Although Jersey had nutted, B kept on sucking and had Jersey’s body jerking with pulsating pleasure as his dick became extra sensitive. But the more B sucked, Jersey felt his dick get hard once again and in a few seconds Jersey had nutted once more.

Dudes in the club look on in amazement at B’s oral skills as Me'shell Ndegeocello’s - Soul Searching was now playing in the background. B then got up and took Jersey to the back of the club. That night Jersey fucked B with a passion, at least three times. Indeed sex with B was way better than with Donavon and Jersey needed the release. They exchange numbers and Jersey said “I will text you later tonight” “Okay man, make sure you do; I’ll be waiting”, said B grabbing Jersey’s crotch and licking his lips. Jersey just smiled as he left to go back to where his boys were sitting. Later that night Jersey did some more drinking and some club hopping with his boys.

Coming home drunk to Donavon sleeping in the bed, Jersey couldn’t help but think of B as he pull off his clothes and got into bed. As Jersey drifted of to sleep he knew one thing; he was definitely coming back for some of B’s tight ass.

But little did Jersey know that B already knew who he was, who Donavon was, and that the two were in a relationship. In fact B is Donavon’s co-worker. And now B who had a crush on Jersey for the longest had tasted Jersey’s sweet nectar and now was determine to make Jersey his by any means necessary.

“That bitch Donavon doesn’t deserve a man like Jersey”, B thought as he looked at the piece of paper in his hand with Jersey’s cell number as he waited for Jersey to text him. Of course no text was received so B, knowing full well that it’s best to have the dude who is in the relationship text you first, but B decided to go ahead and stir up some trouble.

To be continued...

Self Love

I remember, when I was listening to Jaguar Wright's "Self Love" (The song playing on the right side of my blog) and I wrote this poem called "Self Love". I'm so glad that I found it. I read it again and it made me smile. So I hope you enjoy this poem and the song.

"This is entitled Self Love"

My body is my temple,
So I'm a keep this simple.
Looking myself in the mirror,
What do I see?

The key word here is "I",
"I" don't care what you see.
"I" am me.
Flaws and all,
"I" love myself.

I have an AdDICKtion to myself,
I can careless about your money,
What job your working,
How good you look,
Or How many dudes you had fucked.

I refused to be another notch on your belt,
So you can tighten up your pants when your done,
Leaving me confused,
Your empty emotions covering my body.

Loving Myself,
In Love with Myself,
Either you or Myself?
I choose Myself.
Alone with Myself.
I'm happy with Myself....

Self Love.

An educated brutha,
Too smart for your games,
Move on to the next brutha,
I've stop playing games, when I was a child.

I'm a grown ass man, just loving his self.

Living my life,
I'm happy,
Just being myself.

Self Love...



Part 2 of my story "Eventually Everything Comes to the light" will be coming soon....

Just Some Random Thoughts...

I sat and wonder many times, and I am sure you have done this yourself from time to time. Have you ever thought of why it seems there aren't any real brothers out there? In the recent days I have been thinking about this strongly and quite recently I learn a valuable lesson on the importance of being real. Now of course their are real brothers out their, and it seems that the real ones get mistreated or push aside and the more they get pushed aside their thought process leads them to think and ask the same question. Once a real brother comes their way they treat him the same way that he had been treated and the cycle starts all over again.

This is true for almost everyone, gays, straight, bisexual, transsexual, and so on. It just keeps on going on and on. I've couldn't even allow good men to love me, because in the back of my mind I wonder if he was going to suddenly show his true colors. Looking for flaws in his wonderful exterior. What I didn't realize at the time, if you seek you shall find. Everyone will have some type of defect it's all about the willingness you have to deal with it and the same thing goes for him as well. But I digress...

We know exactly what we want, but I don't get why some dudes spend their time on men who isn't doing anything with their lives. It sort of makes you question yourself about the things lacking in yourself. Trust me I question myself as well, I would say things like "I'm a good person, why doesn't he realize it?" But if a man can't realize that he has something wonderful sitting right in front of him, but goes after the trash that is out there. He will never realize that you are the one. And if he can't see it then that's his lost and not yours. Don't ever make another man make you feel like your not worth it, because you are worth it and you don't have settle for nothing less than what you expect out of a man. Yes, you may be alone for a good while, because a good man will not just fall right into your lap. It takes time and I'm sure once you find that man, you'll feel so good that you found a man that you waited for and is on your level.

You know I go by this, GOD, your body, your mind, and your heart should be in agreement when you are deciding to get involve with some one.

GOD: He is your spiritual connection. They always say if your relationship with GOD is messed up, then what makes you think that your earthly relationships are going to work out. Now, lets break this down further. GOD is unconditional love, he will love you regardless and the more you talk with him, pray to him (mind you prayer is asking GOD for something, talking with him is a different story) and meditate on him, will strengthen the connection you have to him. And when you that pray that prayer about is this the right person for me, GOD will look at all the talks you had and give you an answers sometimes its not what we want but we know that it is for the best.

Your Body: Our bodies know what it likes and what it dislikes. I am talking about the sexual aspects of things. The only decision the body has to make is if he is pleasing to your eyes. Your body will mainly say yes, most of the time and this is when your mind has got to intervene.

Your Mind: When we asks questions about other peoples lives, their views on things. There are some things you'll agree with and something that you'll disagree with. The decision you mind has to make is if this person would be an asset or an liability to your life. Then comes the heart.

Your Heart: Your heart is the one that will finalize the decision. Sometimes your body will agree but the mind doesn't, but you'll your heart agrees. This happens all the time and this is when our relationship with GOD steps in. Now when the heart makes its decision it takes awhile for the decision to take place. Sometimes we can't stand to be around some dudes but after while they end up being our greatest love or our best friends. Time is the deciding factor. Give yourself time to get to know a man, why the rush? It's when we rush into things, we find our greatest hurt. During this time you should be talking with GOD, and praying to GOD and when we feel that little spark in our hearts we know what GOD has decided.

I wrote a poem awhile back called "Thoughts" it kind of captures what I am talking about, but I think you'll like it.

"Thoughts"

We only give it to limited people
Like family, select friends,

Afraid that we might get hurt, so we become cautious
Vowing I shall never be hurt again
So we lock love deep in our hearts

Waiting for that one right person to come in to our lives
But it seems that person will never come
So the love in us slowly dies

So we grow a little bit more bitter as days go by
Becoming disappointed every time we run
Into “Mr. Just for sex” or Miss. “Take care of me”

So we settle so we can at least say
I have somebody to love me!
But little did we know….

That’s when the beatings,
The verbal abuse,
The cheating,
The striping of your pride,
The degrading of your body,
All begins

Then we say, “it’s cool,”
“It’s okay”
“They didn’t mean it.”
“It was my fault”

I used to think that this was all stupid
I will say why not move on,
And Leave
But love can make you do some of the craziest things

Love will have you up at night wondering
Love will have you crying
Love will have you saying things you don’t believe
Love will have you coming back when you know it’s not the best thing to do

Afraid to let any sunshine in
Love sits in the darkness of your heart
Getting bits of sunshine hear and there
But never satisfied enough

It pains you to see the love that some others have
Wishing that they will break up soon,
Just hoping that there love will die too
It makes you bitter
It makes you cry
It makes you believe maybe love really can’t survive

Or can it,
We have no choice but to sit and wait
Love comes when it wants
And not when its call
So enjoy life for what it is

You may find it, you may not
But at least you can say. I lived a good life.

"I would just like to say this is nothing new, just my thoughts on somethings."

Eventually Everything Comes to the Light Pt. 1

I awoken out of my sleep in the middle of the night, just to find that your not here laying next to me. My thoughts rush back earlier today when we had a huge argument about you going to clubs. He would always tell me that it was my insecurities getting the best of me. It really wasn’t, I actually don’t mind him hanging out with his friends, but it just seems the clubs are the most important thing to him than hanging out with me on a Friday or Saturday night. I would watch him and his boys get tipsy every Friday, Saturday and even some Sunday nights before they would head for the club. As I sit here in the bed and think about it, I notice that he never asked me once if I wanted to go. I try to go one time but he told me that he needed his “me time”. I lay back down in our empty bed and try to sleep the loneliness away.

It’s 4:08 am in the morning. I hear you stumbling into our room smelling of smoke and sweat. I watch you strip to your boxers, your so drunk you don’t even notice that I’m still awake. He climbs into bed with out saying a word to me and in a couple of seconds your sleep. I sit myself up and just look at him. I don’t even know this man anymore. How did it get to be like this? How did I let him slip away from me? Maybe he does need his me time, I mean I know I do sometimes. I guess I should count my blessings that he made it home... right? So why do I feel the way I do?

Just when I was about to lay back down in our bed. I hear a buzzing sound in his pants pocket on the floor. I try to wake you but your to drunk to come out of your sleep. It was his phone telling him he had a text message. Sometimes my man would get text messages about meetings he have to attend for his job, and it was always me that made sure he gets the message. I reach to grab his pants off the floor and pull his cell phone out his pocket. I open the phone to view the message.

It Read....

Hey baby,

I hope u made it bac ok, I really Njoy our night 2gether, it was hot. 2 bad u had 2 rush off. I cant wait til next time

B from club X

I closed the cell phone and put it back where I found it. I quietly eased myself up from the bed and went out the room. Pain and hatred was my friends as I sat on on the back porch looking up at the moon. All of the missing pieces were now falling into place. I now know why we didn’t make love like we use to, the feelings of him not being here even though he was sleeping next to me, and him wanting his “me time”. It was starting to make sense.

I walked into our kitchen and pace back and forth. The more I paced the more angry I became. Morning was soon on its way. “What am I to do”, I thought. “And who the hell is this B?”, I whisper to myself. I gaze at the set of knives on the kitchen counter. Before I knew it I was pulling the butcher knife out. My mind was entertaining the idea of doing something I know I would regret. I slam the knife down on the table.
I thought maybe I could be over acting but that thought quickly diminished as the anger pulsated through my body. Five years I been with this man. Finally the tears came which were bitter hatred tears. “I have to pull myself together”, I said as I wiped my tears away.

I am 30 years old, I could go up there angry and fight with him, or I can go up there and face his ass like a man; find out what the real deal is. I’ll give him a chance to man up and tell me the truth but if not I know for a fact that eventually everything comes to the light.

Stay Tune...

"His Love"

When I awake, I'm greeted by his smile.
His loving eyes tells it all,
That his love for me is real.

Kisses me with his smooth lips,
Tasting him is so sweet
His kisses lets me know,
That his love would last forever.

I look deep into his eyes and he tells me,
“baby I love you”.
His words are my refuge,
I fall back to sleep in the comfort of his love.

He leaves me a love note,

Baby,

You know your my heart have a great day a work

Love L

It makes me smile,
His love lets me knows he cares

When we go out,
His attention is always on me,
His love is the respect he has for me.

When we make love,
His gentle strokes, is pure ecstasy,
His love is my confirmation.

I fall asleep in his arms,
and I know when I awake,
His love will begin with a smile,

And it will be okay...